Posted by: icmadoptionnetwork | July 1, 2011

Adoptive Grandparents

Recently I was asked to think of someone who is always glad to see me and what their effect has been on my life.  I immediately thought of my grandparents.  They were and still are always excited to see me, and as a result, I joyfully anticipate our reunions.  As I continued thinking about grandparents I realized that they are the best at saying “yes” to their grandchildren.  This reminded me of the blog post from a few weeks ago about giving your adoptive child frequent “yes’s”.

To summarize the post, under normal circumstances infants and toddlers are constantly being told, “yes”.  I am hungry – yes child, I’ll feed you.  I’m scared – yes child, I’ll hold you.  Some adopted children did not receive many yes’s when they needed to prior to their adoption.  Therefore, when establishing a secure attachment with them it’s important to give frequent yes’s so they will learn their needs will be met.

Bringing this back to grandparents, what role are grandpa or grandma playing in your adopted child’s life?  Not all parents are supportive when their children choose to adopt.  Perhaps your parents passed away before your adoption or maybe they are not able to dote on their new grandchildren due to illness or distance.

As parents you will encounter times when you lack the energy, ability, or quite frankly the desire to give a yes to your children.  If your children do not have a grandparent or other adult figure who can spoil them (within reason), it might be just the thing they (and you) need.

Please share some special ways that your children receive love by adoptive or surrogate grandparents?


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