Posted by: icmadoptionnetwork | February 8, 2013

What about your spouse?

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is love their mother”. – Theodore Hesburgh, American Priest

As a parent, one of the most important factors in a person’s parenting is their relationship with their spouse. Your marital relationship provides you with support, friendship, strength, romance, joy, and is a pivotal part of your own personal health. If you have completed a post adoption visit with me, I have probably asked you if you have yet been on a date with your spouse. Keeping your marital relationship and romance alive while parenting, and after an adoption, can be difficult and exhausting, but also rewarding!

I recently read an article written by Alyson Weasley for Focus on the Family, and I wanted to share with you her twelve steps to a deeper friendship with your spouse:

  1. Recognize that friendship building takes a lot of work – and time. Cut the fat out of your day.
  2. Establish a time each week to spend quality time together – then guard that time with your lives!
  3. Choose to spend time together rather than apart. This may mean sacrificing good things for a season such as small groups, ministry, or bonding time with guys or gals.
  4. Explore the interests of your spouse be it baseball, art, musical theater, gardening or hunting. Find out what their passionate about and then join them. Often this takes a bit of sacrifice.
  5. Take time to find common interests and then engage in them.
  6. Use conflict to sharpen and purify friendship.
  7. Nourish and care for one another. Be gentle with one another.
  8. Accountability and mutual respect, including in the areas of sexuality, finances, and relationships, should be a priorities.
  9. Establish daily habits especially praying together.
  10. Affirm one another every day. Be intentional in communicating the other’s strengths.
  11. Be transparent with one another.
  12. Communication. Most experts agree that regular communication builds a friendship that weathers the storms of life.

I hope you all have a great weekend, and take time to strengthen your relationship with your loved one!

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