Posted by: icmadoptionnetwork | March 18, 2013

Being Real

Good morning all! I am back in the U.S. from our trip to Taiwan last week to meet our adoptive son. My emotions are very raw right now, and I am learning that jet lag is no joke! It is 11:00 pm to me right now.

One of my prayers is that this adoption process for Steve and I would help develop me into a more compassionate and understanding adoption worker. I am grateful that I am able to see the adoption process through different eyes… through the eyes of an adoptive mom and not just a social worker.

I want to “be real” with our families. I want to be able to talk about the difficult times up front and honestly. I want us to be able to share the joys and also the rough patches of our processes with one another. The adoption process is a very real, emotional, and spiritual experience.

One of the comforts I found last week in the orphanage was a young mom named Abbey. Abbey is between her two trips, but is staying there in Taiwan rather than going home. On Wednesday I was spending time with my son and found it difficult for me that he was unable to look me in the eyes. Every piece of material I have ever read and all of my head-knowledge told me this is normal… that he wouldn’t be in any way attached to me yet. But to experience it is heart-wrenching. I didn’t say anything to anyone, but held these thoughts in my heart. About 15 minutes later I was talking to Abbey (whose daughter is very attached to her now), and Abbey made a side comment about how it was difficult for her that it took her daughter three weeks to be able to look her in the eye. All I thought was, “Thank you for that Lord.”

We do our best to prepare our adoptive families for this process. We have you complete trainings, discuss adoption related issues, and read material. But I learned last week that it is different when you are experiencing it first hand. Sometimes you just need reminded, “This is normal. You aren’t alone. Others have been in your shoes, and made it through. It will be okay.”

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Responses

  1. I love real people. So many times we are shocked at the questions people ask or how uninformed people are about things (adoption and homeschooling are both big ones for our family)….but if those who experience those things aren’t real and don’t share their TRUE experience (and not the rose colored ones) then how will anyone really be educated about them? I feel a huge responsibility to educate anyone I can about things I feel passionate about…it is not possible to be over-educated!

  2. Wonderful post and very well said 🙂
    Welcome back, Maria. We are praying for you and all adoptive families too. Our little Johnny sends his smiles too!

  3. Praying for God to comfort you through all of these “firsts” and for your heart as you wait between trips!


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